Sunday, September 29, 2013

Our Beautifully Messy Life

My house is a mess! It's clean. Toilets, sinks, tubs are clean. Floors are mopped. Kids clothes are folded and put away. The important things are done. My clothes are in piles. Maybe my friends have noticed me out and about in my running clothes a lot lately. Then there's the pile of art stuff taking up half the table with two recent projects for Carter and hands-on, multi-sensory learning activities for Polina. The dishes are clean, but there are some groceries that aren't put away. So, it's clean...but it's a mess!

Since we've brought Polina home, I've been a "stay-at-home" mom. So my house should be neatly organized, right? That's what the voice in my head tells me. Reality is, I'm hardly ever home. The kids add up to 6 therapy appointments a week, guitar lessons, boy scouts, and two fitness classes. Most weeks include a trip to Kansas City. I go to the kid's school assemblies, PE with Parents, and presentations. When I'm not running from appointments and they are at school, I fill out paperwork, get my own exercise in, grocery shop, bank, do laundry and prepare fresh & healthy meals. Oh, and I shower without any interruptions.

When they are home, we do homework and catch up on the things missed at school during appointments. We eat as a family and talk about our day. We try to get some outside time in. Our bedtime routine takes quite a lot of time and most nights I rock, read, and sing to Polina. Then there's some big-kid time with Carter. And once I sit down...well...I don't typically get up again because I'm exhausted more emotionally and mentally from the mess of the day.

There's lots of "how do you ask appropriately, that's not how we do things in a family, I'm sorry that you want that, we talk nice to each other in this house, try that again, stop dragging the dog around, no we are not having candy, yes I love you even when your behavior is not acceptable" messy moments with Polina and "let's talk this through and clean up that mess" moments with Carter.

I fall victim to the thoughts of messiness in my head.

And then I have a day like today that reminds me I don't want my kids to remember me for keeping the house clean. I want them to remember me for making memories, bonding and supporting them. I want them to remember that I was at Friday Round-ups at school to dance with them, that I went to PE with them, made presentations to their classmates about how to be friends with kids with disabilities and I drove them to their appointments when I could have used Medicaid transport. I want them to be healthy and remember home cooked meals and not drive-thrus. I want them to remember hikes, walks around the lake and sidewalk chalk in the driveway. I want them to remember cuddling before bed, being read to, and singing songs together.

Today was one of those days! Carter was on a boy scouts hike with dad and so Polina and I went out for a girl's morning. The plan was to get dinner in the crock pot, go for a run, take the dog to the dog park where Polina pets EVERY dog she can get her hands on, hit the farmer's market and then go to Kohls. We never made it to Kohls. We got caught eating lunch at a food truck, outside, 1/3 mile from our car when the skies opened up and poured down rain. And we will never forget it! It was such a messy adventure!

She wanted to look like an "old Baba" today

She thought it was hilarious when General pulled her faster than Mommy could run. Listen for the giggle.

Held a couple puppies

Played in the Fountain

Stood in a LONG line for Blini (or Crepes)

And made a friend while we were waiting

Then the rain was coming, so we combined our veggies and wrapped up her cast...and fast as we could 1/3 mile back to the car.
I was soaked clear through including sloshy shoes
General was soaked too, but Polina made it with just a few drops on her exposed leg.
It was a BLAST!
Our life isn't always "clean." In fact, it can get messy. But one thing is for sure, it's a mess in an adventure that gets more beautiful every day and I wouldn't trade it for the world! There's big things in store for our little family!


  1. ha, you haven't seen my den with two homesitting little ones... )) (and it's just a tiny khruschev-style russian flat, not an american house..)
    Just enumeration your "toilets, sinks, tubs" in the plural makes me feel weird.. )
    I've heard someone's quote like if the woman has little children and her home looks perfect it's the sign of some mental disorder..
    So it's not about you )
    More important to see you all so happy and having your quality time, that is a real value!

  2. There is a cast on one leg. Makes me hopeful!

  3. It is so wonderful to read your blog! And I have to say - you are positively shining on the pictures! I won't even mention a difference in Polina's look :)

  4. So wonderful to read about your progress! And you positively shine on each of those pictures! Oh, and I won't even mention the change in Polina's look, of course.